You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
