I cannot find my penis.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
