Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
