it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
