help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize