Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
