Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
