i think i have herpe
just one?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
