Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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