I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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