Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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