Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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