He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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