Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
