dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
