is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
