Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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