Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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