my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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