I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
