Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
