I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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