____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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