what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
