Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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