And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
