we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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