but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
