Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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