Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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