sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
