im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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