Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
