you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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