Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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