I heard we made out
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize