Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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