Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
