Soap is not a condiment
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize