apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
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I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
