I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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