So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
