Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
