Where is the hickey?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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