This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
