I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
