just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
