I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
