well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
