I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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