Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize