ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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