honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
