Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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