On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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