the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
