I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
is that a dick in a sweater?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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