I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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