so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
