but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I need water and some morals
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
