I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
