i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
last night I used snow as a chaser
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
