I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
