wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
