Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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